


but wouldn't it feel just a little bit sweeter (if victory were actually worth worshipping?)

by Lineal



Series: poem fics! [6]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Introspection, Sad Bokuto Koutarou, aight ok i saw the chance and took it, bokuto angst oop, jack of all trades master of none konoha, lmao rip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:34:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28758156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lineal/pseuds/Lineal
Summary: universal usefulnessis a talent that i wish forjack of all trades and master of noneis the quality i crave at my corethe problem with being good at somethingeven if it’s only relativeis that there’s a certain standard you have to upholdyour reputation’s always so delicateand sureyou won’t win at everythingbut wouldn’t it feel just a little bit sweeterif victory were actually worth worshipping?
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou & Konoha Akinori
Series: poem fics! [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2050644
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3





	but wouldn't it feel just a little bit sweeter (if victory were actually worth worshipping?)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stephbethallen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stephbethallen/gifts).



> Inspired by [stephbethallen's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stephbethallen) amazing poem!!!
> 
> for the record i didnt want to write sad okay but what else was i supposed to do with that poem

Koutarou is the captain of Fukuroudani’s boys’ volleyball club.

He’s their ace. One of the top five high school aces in Japan, in fact— though he’s never been able to reach the top three, and people love reminding him about that for some reason.

Koutarou’s strong, and he knows it. He’s a powerful wing spiker, impressive, adored, and yet there’s always someone better, someone who can do more, be more.

It’s kind of pathetic now that he really thinks of it. The fact that Koutarou can only do one thing, only has one trick up his sleeve, and he’s not even _that_ amazing at it.

Sure, some might argue that no, he’s great at keeping the morale of the team up, too! He’s a great motivator, an amazing captain, a reliable ace—!

But Koutarou isn’t, and that’s just the truth.

The others know, too— everyone knows, and he can see it in their eyes, the way they narrow in annoyance, frustration, maybe there’s pity somewhere in the mix— and Koutarou _hates_ it, yet he does absolutely _nothing_ to stop himself, make himself better.

Akaashi would make a better captain than him. Konoha would make a _much_ better captain than him.

Konoha… sometimes— or, more accurately, always— Koutarou wonders why they didn’t make him captain instead. He’s so much more reliable, more steady, responsible, and he _knows_ things, _does_ things, _so many things_.

The rest of the team teases the other boy for that, never let him forget the fact that he’s a “jack of all trades, master of none” as if that’s _bad_ thing and somehow _worse_ than whatever Koutarou is pretending to be.

Konoha is needed everywhere, can be sufficiently useful, trusted for anything.

And Koutarou… Koutarou is not.

It’s that simple, yet so complicated at the same time.

Konoha isn’t expected to succeed, he isn’t expected to be the best— but people still look to him when they’re in trouble, not Koutarou, who’s always been expected to succeed, just not in as many things.

Perhaps quantity really _is_ valued over quality in some cases.

But somehow… somehow, it doesn’t seem like Konoha has that much pressure on his shoulders at all, doesn’t have any worry or concerns about his seemingly delicate reputation that he needs to uphold. Maybe it has to do with the fact that he doesn’t have to win at everything, doesn’t even have to win at one thing, doesn’t always end up a disappointment like—.

Like Koutarou.

The rush of victory is only sweet in the beginning, with the first and only wave of adrenaline that comes afterwards, but in the long run, it’s always been only lukewarm.

Koutarou doesn’t deserve it. He never does anything else to deserve it.

But people lie and say that he does, congratulating him when he should be the one doing the congratulating, and so Koutarou pretends. He pretends that his feelings are really as simple as they seem, pretends that he’s satisfied, _happy_ with the victory that he’s been chasing forever.

Koutarou pretends, and hopefully one day, he’ll finally understand and victory will _finally_ be worth worshipping.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!!
> 
> Bokuto angstkdfjkgdhdjk im so sorry lmao
> 
> aaaaaaaa this month so far has been a mess and i havent gotten any writing done im so sorryyyyy
> 
> Here is my [Discord](https://discord.gg/E8rnymG) and my [Tumblr](https://itslinsanity.tumblr.com/)!!!


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